You’re on BASE! Take some time to catch your breath … you are safe.

These things always crack me up. Our district is trying to promote “wellness” so they gave us free pedometers. I think maybe they got them free because they were defective. The actual pedometer might not be, but the information insert sure is.

It says in red that if I walk 10,000 steps then I can eat 30 calories. Doesn’t air have more than 30 calories?

 It also says I have to be a “preson” and I don’t know that I’ll ever accomplish that.

 I can eat 90% of the men’s … does that mean I can eat 90% more than them? That doesn’t sound right.

D. makes a specific note about a salaried man. How does the food I eat know if I have a job or not? 

1 calorie equals 30 steps. So if  I walk 10,000 steps then (if I’m doing my math correctly – which I may not be) I think I will burn a little over 333 calories.  But then what did they mean when they said I could consume 30 extra calories if I walk 10,000 steps. Sheesh! This is why I can’t eat better. Just reading this stressed me out so much that I went and ate a box of candy. Thankfully it only POSSIBLY had traces of milk in it (see below).   

                                                                  Whatever you do … don’t make the pedometer to wet. Does that mean it might spray me? Probably only if I don’t put it on correcitly.

EEK!!! Traces of milk!!! What has this world come to. Is there not a food I can consume that is completely unhealthy anymore?! Well, it says MAY so maybe I got the batch that escaped the milk tainting.

 

 

 

Trust me … I wish I didn’t notice this kind of thing … it is exhausting.

Advertisements

Comments on: "Stepping Your Way to Good Health and Other Nonsense" (6)

  1. I think that means if you eat more than 30 calories after your 10,000 steps, the pedometer will pee on you. Or perhaps the preson standing next to you. Also, if you suspect the pedometer is having a heart attack, don’t attempt to revive it with an AED. You’ll have to give it mouth-to-mouth.

    We had a patient once who was raving about her pedometer (which was doing her NO good at all, if I may be so unkind), and how it only took her three laps of the track to get a mile in, because a mile is 10,000 steps. Our receptionist tried to tell her that four laps is a mile, no matter what her pedometer says, but there was no changing her mind. You know what people are like about their pedometers… 😉

    SU YOU REALLY MADE ME LAUGH WITH THOSE FIRST FEW LINES. I LOVE IT WHEN PEOPLE TRUST THE MACHINE AND NOT THEIR COMMON SENSE. IT’S THE SAME WITH GPS. PEOPLE THAT KNOW EXACTLY HOW TO GET SOMEWHERE WILL TAKE A DIFFERENT ROUTE BECAUSE IT TELLS THEM TO.

    I’M WEARING MY PEDOMETER … BUT I SURE DON’T TRUST IT TO WORK CORECITLY.

  2. LOL!! That was so funny. I loved Su’s first comments, too funny. Thanks for sharing.

    Cyndi

  3. Maybe it pees on you if you push the MODE bottom…?? Ay! The grammar in that gives me a headache and makes me want to scream! Reminds me of “Catuion: Surface Chaude” LOLOL

    How dare they try to give you traces of milk!! That is an outrage! hehehe

    I’m so glad you find these things…

    I REALLY CAN’T BELIEVE THE THINGS PEOPLE PUT INTO CIRCULATION. THIS GIVES A LITTLE PERSPECTIVE TO MY STUDENTS’ WRITING THOUGH. MAYBE THEY HAVE A FUTURE WITH THE PEDOMETER COMPANY.

  4. Hey, Paige, there’s an award for you on my blog!

  5. A great post and so amusing.

    I saw you mentioned on Su’s Cheekyness site (well done on the award) and thought I’d stop by to say hello. Nice to meet you, I’ve enjoyed visiting.

    THANKS FOR STOPPING BY. SU IS GREAT ISN’T SHE?!

  6. Aw… I haven’t been round here in ages and now I’m all embarrassed. And I’m wondering how the heck I managed to miss “mode bottom” the first time! That’s way funnier than the pedometer peeing on you!

    EVERYTHING IS BETTER WHEN YOU PUSH THE MODE BOTTOM!!!

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: