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Archive for April, 2009

GENTE!!!

When I lived in Portugal I had a friend that used to say “My word” or “Oh my word” all the time. We decided that we were going to come up with our own phrase to use instead of that one. Since most of our frustration came when dealing with people and their idiocy … we decided to say, “People”. In this case we were saying it in Portuguese so it was “Gente” … pronounced “jenchee”. Try it out … the next time someone cuts you off in traffic … try “Gente” on for size … it rolls off the tongue quite nicely.

Another favorite phrase of mine is, “I didn’t try to.” I watched with my own two eyes as a student picked up a rock, threw it at another student, and hit him in the head. When I asked why he did that he said, “I didn’t try to”. Well there you have it … if he “didn’t try to” then I guess he was really just as shocked as I was when the other boy started bleeding from the head.

My newest favorite phrase comes from a boy at church. I think he’s about 3 or 4. Last week when his mom told him he needed to get ready for school he replied, “I can’t want to.” I can relate to that … can’t you?! Unfortunately, the fact that “I can’t want to” doesn’t mean that I don’t have to.

Lastly, as I watched cops the other night, I saw a man being arrested. He kept saying over and over “What am I sposed to did?” They were telling him to put his hands behind his back etc. He did nothing, while repeating, “What am I sposed to did?” I … along with the confused officers … never quite figured out if he was asking about “what he had done wrong” or “what they were asking him to do now”. 

I think all the readers of BASE are either … teachers, parents, or spouses … so I know you’ve heard some great phrases … please share.

Need to smile?

 

Have you heard the one about …

My mom sent me this for Easter … figured it was funny enough to put up until I think of something to write.

 

One day a man was driving down the road in a hot red convertible.

He was driving 15 mph when a rabbit hopped in front of his car.

As the man swerved the rabbit swerved also and was run over.

The man got out of the car and started crying “OH MY… OH MY!!!!”

Just then a blond drives up and asks him what’s wrong, when he tells her she says, “Oh I can fix that.”

She goes to her car, pulls out a can and sprays the rabbit with it.

It instantly comes alive and hops off, but every five feet it turns back to wave, before finally disappearing into the forest.

The guy is amazed and says, “How did you do that?”

The blond just tosses him the can and drives off.

The can says “Hair Spray: Guaranteed to bring your hair back to life and create a permanent wave.”

Superstitious … little stitious

On the season premiere for The Office, Michael Scott makes a comment, “I’m not superstitious, but I’m a little stitious”. I thought that was cute. The following are some superstitious beliefs that I found on an online quiz.

 

According to superstition, it is bad luck to let a black cat cross your path.

Superstition has it that leaving a hat on a bed will bring bad luck.

There is a long-standing belief that walking under a ladder brings bad luck.

Folklore has it that if you break a mirror, you will have seven years of bad luck.

Many people have long regarded Friday as an unlucky day.

Many people believe if you spill salt, you must toss some of it over your left shoulder in order to prevent bad luck.

According to superstition, a broken chain letter will bring bad luck.

Legend has it that if you drink all the bubbles on the surface of your coffee, you will soon have lots of money.

A rabbit’s  foot is thought to bring good luck.

 

I’ve never really been very superstitious myself. The closest I come to superstition is believing that I’ll jinx something by saying it. Like by saying, “I haven’t been sick this whole year.” I will probably be sick soon.

I have had a few times in my life where I lied about something and then it happened. I’m too ashamed to put them on here for everyone to see, but you can ask me and I’ll fill you in. Let’s just say that I missed work “to visit a grandmother that was ill” … not really visiting anyone I was just off having fun. But I jinxed her!!!

I would love to hear some funny “superstitious” type things you grew up with. It doesn’t really have to fit with superstitions … it could just be something funny that you believed that really didn’t make sense.

When I was growing up we had this lamp. It had fishing line all around it that oil would run down. My dad convinced us that if we touched the oil it would turn our fingers green and he would know. There’s a part of me that’s still a little frightened of that lamp oil.

Who didn’t have someone in their life that would tell them their face would stick if they made ugly faces all the time?

What are some things you’ve heard?

Speaking of bootleg …

My friend Sherry received a very practical gift from her children for Christmas this year. It’s a little coffee warmer that you can leave on your desk to … in fact … warm your coffee.

We laughed earlier in the year when we talked about warning labels because, as Sherry commented … it warned very strongly against placing Styrofoam cups on it.

Well today, as we ate lunch, I glanced down at the coffee warmer. I could barely read on the top the word “Caution”. Only, as I looked closer I realized that it didn’t say “Caution” at all … it said “CATUION”. I asked, “How do you spell caution?” Because I thought maybe I was just off on my spelling.

I ended up looking at the bottom of the warmer out of curiousity, and you will never believe what it said. This is not a joke … it actually said:

TO FREVENT ELECTRIC EHOCK LINFLUG EEFORE CLEAING

What language is that?

Needless to say … we got a good laugh … and decided that it must be some kind-of bootleg flea market gadget … or it is from some alien planet where getting EHOCKED is a reall threat so to FREVENT it you must be reminded to LINFLUG EEFORE CLEAING.