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Archive for November, 2008

Seinfeld

There was a woman I met that had severe vision problems and was not able to drive. She wanted to go to church and needed someone to drive her. I had not been attending church for a while and thought this might be God nudging me in that direction. So I volunteered. I did not know much about this woman. I knew that she couldn’t see and that was about it.

We had decided that I would pick her up, of course, and then after church we would come to her house to eat. She was going to cook lunch. I was leary of this idea, but trying to be polite and open to whatever might help this woman feel good.

I approached the door and knocked quietly. I hear her inside yelling, “Paige!, No, Paige! Paige, no!” I stand at the door wondering why she’s yelling my name and why is she telling me no. She opens the door and there is an enormous black dog standing there, and, of course, her name is Paige.

We sit down to have some coffee while we wait until time to leave. She begins telling me about how she was going to make a cake to go with our lunch today. As she’s talking I kind-of drift off and quit paying attention because I’m noticing a trail of cats walking around her house. There were at least ten cats of all shapes and sizes. I realize the woman can’t see my facial expressions so I’m not worried too much about the shock that is showing there. I finally ascertain that the cats live in the ceiling … there was hole in the closet that they were climbing in and out of.

So as I’m taking this all in I hear her say, “… and then I must have had a seizure.” I snap out of my cat thoughts and ask her to please repeat that last part. She says, “I was saying that I had decided to make a cake for today, to go with our lunch. As I was mixing the icing with the mixer I must have had a seizure. I came to and I was on the kitchen floor and there was icing everywhere.” About this time, Paige the dog walks up to me, and I notice, I’m not even kidding, there is icing all over this dog’s back. I stifle a laugh and walk into the kitchen, there is icing all over the walls and cabinets. It was at this time that I realized, this could be a Seinfeld episode.

 I would love to hear about some of your own “Seinfeld” moments.