They gave it a try at any rate.

Do you ever pay attention to some of the expressions we use? There are things we say that really don’t make much sense. I don’t realize how confusing they can be until I try to teach them to my students.

This week we were discussing expressions and the students were each given a sentence strip with one on them. They were supposed to read it … try to explain what they thought it meant to the class … and then write a short story using it correctly.

I would love to hear how you would explain some of these:

“They gave it a try at any rate.”

“He bought the car to the tune of one hundred dollars.”

These were two of the hardest ones. I know what they mean, but try explaining them to some 12-14 year old kids that think a “senior citizen” is when you go to the movie by yourself.

I found that out when I was trying to explain what a “rate” is. I mentioned movie tickets and how they are different prices for different people. For example, children and senior citizens are usually a different price than a regular ticket. A boy on the front row said, “Miss, what’s a senior citizen? When you go by yourself?”

I realized then that if I’m having to explain what these expressions mean … they probably aren’t going to use them much anyway, so what’s the point?! From now on, I’ll probably be skipping that section of our textbook.

I just had to laugh …

This week I had a new student begin my class. He is an experience I’ve not had before. And that’s the best way I can describe him … an experience. I think he has hugged me more this week than any other person in my entire life. Today he came back to my desk to ask a question. He looked down at my hands and said, “You have the most smooth and beautiful skin hands.” His voice was that voice a child gets when they’ve just seen the most amazing thing.

I had to take him out for a while so my assistant could talk to the other students. They’ve been making fun of him and mocking him. We needed it to stop immediately. So we went and ran random errands around the building. It gave me a chance to talk to him some one on one. He really is a great kid. Very innocent and wide-eyed. I said a prayer for him today that God would guard his heart. I also asked God to help me to treat him as the precious creation that he is. Even when he’s invading my personal space … over … and over … and over again.

A Joke

It was autumn, and members of a Native American tribe asked their new Chief if the coming winter was going to be cold or mild. Since he was a new Chief in a modern society and had never been taught the old secrets of Nature, he looked up at the sky and had no clue what to do. To play it safe, he replied to his tribe that the winter could definitely be cold and that they should collect firewood early, just to be prepared. So, the members began gathering wood.

Being a practical leader, he figured he should also use the resources available to the modern society. He went to the phone booth, called the National Weather Service and asked, “Will this winter be cold?”

“As of now, it looks like this winter is going to be quite cold,” the forecaster said.

So the Chief went back to his tribe and told them to collect even more wood. A week later he called the National Weather Service again and asked for an update.

“Yes,” the man at National Weather Service again replied, “based on incoming data, this winter is looking to be colder than we expected.” The Chief was surprised, but again went back to his tribe, told them that this might be a very cold winter, and asked them to collect every scrap of wood they could find.

One week later, the Chief called the National Weather Service yet again, hoping for a new answer. “Are you absolutely sure that the winter is going to be very cold?”

“Positive,” the man replied. “It’s going to be one of the coldest winters ever.”

“Really?” the shocked Chief exclaimed. “How can you be so sure?”

“First,” the forecaster replied, “The Indians are collecting firewood like crazy.”

This cracked me up …

Christmas Joy!!!

This has been circulating on Facebook this week. I’ve decided to let it be my Christmas Card for the year!!!

Isn’t it ironic …

This song by Alanis Morissette has been in my head this week.

An old man turned ninety-eight
He won the lottery and died the next day
It’s a black fly in your Chardonnay
It’s a death row pardon two minutes too late
And isn’t it ironic… don’t you think

It’s like rain on your wedding day
It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take
Who would’ve thought… it figures

Mr. Play It Safe was afraid to fly
He packed his suitcase and kissed his kids goodbye
He waited his whole  life to take that flight
And as the plane crashed down he thought
“Well isn’t this nice…”
And isn’t it ironic… don’t you think

It’s like rain on your wedding day
It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take
Who would’ve thought… it figures

Well life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
When you think everything’s okay and everything’s going right
And life has a funny way of helping you out when
You think everything’s gone wrong and everything blows up
In your face

A traffic jam when you’re already late
A no-smoking sign on your cigarette break
It’s like ten thousand spoons when all you need is a knife
It’s meeting the man of my dreams
And then meeting his beautiful wife
And isn’t it ironic…don’t you think
A little too ironic…and, yeah, I really do think…

It’s like rain on your wedding day
It’s a free ride when you’ve already paid
It’s the good advice that you just didn’t take
Who would’ve thought… it figures

Life has a funny way of sneaking up on you
Life has a funny, funny way of helping you out
Helping you out

Once a friend and I went to eat at a restaurant. We had a coupon for a free dinner when you buy a dinner. We ordered … turned in our coupon. Then proceeded to wait about 45 minutes for our food. The manager felt so bad that he gave us a free meal. However, we didn’t get our coupon back and so basically we got what we had already received. Ironic!

Over Thanksgiving my niece, who is 6, was showing my nephew, who is 4, how to open a child safety bottle. We walked in when she was saying, “No, you have to push it down and then turn.” Very ironic!

Yesterday in class I had a student that had quite a body odor problem going on. I seemed to be the only person to notice. At one point he was working with a partner and he (the body odor boy) kept saying to his partner, “Man, you got bad breath.” Unpleasantly ironic!

Today as I was driving in to work I started to slide just a little. I noticed a light that came up on the dash … it was a little car with squiggle marks in front of it. Was it trying to tell me, “Hey lady, you’re sliding!” ? As if I hadn’t noticed … Moronicly Ironic.

So what’s ironic in your life?

Thanksgiving Memories

This was a good Thanksgiving. But it was not without its awkward moments.

I’ve told several of you already about my Grandpa and the wonderful memories he revealed around the dinner table Thanksgiving Day. Can you say awkward?!

My youngest niece is in that stage where she asks about 9,000 questions a minute. Remember that scene in Uncle Buck? That’s what it feels like. So she’s asking how old I am and realizes that I’m a little older than her mother. In my niece’s mind if her mother is married and has children, then surely I should at least be married since I’m older. I think she’s too young to remember that I was married at one time.

 So she asks, “Aunt Paige are you married?”

I say, “No”.

She says, “Why not? You’re old enough.”

I say, “Yes, but I’m not married.”

She says, “Are you going to get married?”

I said, “I don’t think so”.

Which of course made her ask “Why not?” 

 Which is when her mother kindly called her into the kitchen to get her out of my face. It’s not so much her questions that are awkward. The look on everyone else’s face is what makes it awkward. We sure don’t want to mention the “D” word in front of the children.

What about you? Any awkward or especially memorable holiday happenings?